Their daughter Daniela Spagnuolo used to wear that uniform and still would if she hadn’t taken her own life in May of 2007 at the age of 15.
The Spagnuolos found comfort and support with the Bereaved Families of Ontario (BFO)'s Halton/Peel chapter. They, along with other Mississauga families, were on hand yesterday to mark the chapter's 20th anniversary at a fundraising barbecue held at the Civic Centre.
Last July, the organization put the Spagnuolos in touch with 10 other sets of parents who lost their children to suicide. The group met regularly over 10 weeks for sessions facilitated by a mother who had lost her child the same way.
"It was great to be with others who were all sharing the same emotions," said Phyllis. "We were looking for answers to the guilt."
Being able to help people in their darkest hours is what keeps a dedicated group of volunteers from Bereaved Families going. According to Richard Sheppard, acting executive director, the group is fortunate to have been able to survive some difficult times in the past year. In February, they wee short on funding and volunteers and and the future looked gloomy. They nearly had to close the doors of their Meadowvale offices. After a story appeared in The Mississauga News, a number of volunteers came forward to help turn things around.
Then, in August, the group was awarded a $75,000 Trillium grant that allowed them to hire a full-time executive director. Soon they will hire a full-time person to do planning and fundraising person.
More than 150 people attended the 20th anniversary event that included food, the school choir performance, live music, auction tables, 50/50 draws and information about BFO groups and volunteer opportunities.
"Today is all about the organization being there for everybody," Sheppard said. "We provide support and education to get people through their grief. There's no cure for grief. People have to draw upon each other, cope and keep moving forward."
Over the past two decades, the chapter has enlisted 5,000 volunteers to field 30,000 phone calls and help 2,500 families.
The help they received from BFO got them through a horrible year, the Spagnuolos say.
"We found that others who haven't faced something like this, don't understand the different emotions you go through," Vince said. "Sometimes you tell people and they're silent and others know just the right thing to say. We learned through our group that you need to let people be there for you and you need to be able to feel."
They said 1,200 people attended their daughter's funeral. Since then, they have started two $500 scholarships in her name for children belonging to the Dixie Soccer Club. Daniela had played soccer since the age of five and was popular in school.
BFO benefits anyone who is grieving. Find out more at www.bereavedfamilies.ca
jslack@mississauga.net
